What Resolution?

Is there really a point in making one anymore? No one ever follows through with them; well I know I don't. I remember last year it was to stop drinking so much, and as I sip on my third cocktail, I see that didn't go so well.

I didn't even bother this year. There are some things I could work on, but whatever! When it gets annoying to others, maybe that's when I'll do something about it. However, not one of my many issues is something I could focus on long enough to fix. 

I spoke to a friend today, and she told me that my resolution should be finishing one of my many scripts that I allowed her (and only her) to read. I didn't like that. First of all! I don't like being told what to do, and second, writing takes time. I refuse to sit in front of my computer and just type. I have to feel what I'm writing to be able to call myself a writer. If I don't feel anything, then I feel like one of those coffee shop computer posers.

I guess I could finish something tonight. 

Lately, I've been having some pretty random thoughts. I've jotted them down, but together, none of  it makes sense. 

Maybe my resolution should be for me to take the time out to understand myself.

AHHH! I'm hopeless.

I couldn't think of a post title...

That Jane Eyre book was so freaking boring that I picked up another one. I'm kinda upset, because I thought that I would be able to actually sit down and get all intellectual, but forget that mess. That book is all kinds of over my head. Do I believe myself to be dumb? Nope! I believe the book to be full of unnecessary nothings about a schizo child in old school England. I'll just have to wait for the movie and figure things out then.

I'm currently re-reading The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan. I had the opportunity to read it before, but didn't . I'm not sure what happened, but when I was given the chance to read it again; I jumped at it. So far it's really good. I haven't been confused by anything yet. However, my only complaint is why in the hell are the chapters so freaking long? I swear each chapter is about 50 pages of the main character Ruth complaining about her living arrangements. Okay...Let's speed thing up Amy!

Other than reading books, I recently met a guy "Gordon". Well actually, I've kinda known Gordon for a while. He's a friend of a friend and I spent NYE with him. He is very sweet. I'm not sure where this is going, but so far it feels right. Although Gordon is not "Howard", I'm very comfortable and happy at the moment. 

Speaking of Howard, he's still in the picture. I hadn't spoken to or seen him in a while, but then there was yesterday. I had no idea what would happen when I saw him, but I didn't expect what happened to happen.  What happened between us (nothing private just weird and awkward), will stay between us. I'll just say I'm not sure what's going on.

I was a little concerned about what was going on with me talking to two different men at once, but when I put into consideration that I'm not sleeping with anyone, It's not very serious (yet), or that I'm not married; I no longer found anything wrong with the situation. It's innocent.

I'll continue to do what I'm doing until I make up my mind. Hopefully, it will happen before I finish reading my book...I'm only on chapter 2.