What The Hell Is This?

I woke up craving a little Viggo Mortensen in my life. I love him as an actor and he's not so bad to look at. So, needing a little Viggo every once in a while isn't a guilty pleasure it's a necessity. 

I went to Netflix in search of a good Viggo movie to get my day going, and one of the movies available for streaming was 28 Days. I'd never seen it, and I like Sandra Bullock. Everything seemed like win-win-win situation...boy was I wrong. 

First of all, it took way too long for Viggo to show up. The first 20 mins of the movie consisted of typical Sandra Bullock quirks and jokes that failed to amuse me at 6:30 in the morning. Then there was this guy in the movie that talked with the bottom row of his teeth...you know what I'm talking about! Don't pretend like you don't know about that ONE person you know that whenever they talk you can see the entire row of their bottom teeth, and the teeth be all yellow or crooked. Well, 28 Days had a guy just like that, and every time he spoke I saw the yellowness of the bottom row of his teeth. At first I thought he was just really into character, because it looked as if this guy hadn't flossed a day in his life. Then I thought about it, and I'm almost positive people are able to bring floss into rehab. Rehabilitation Centers might deprive you of a good time, but they're not going to force you into bad hygiene.

Then finally comes the scene where Sandra Bullock jumps her dumbass out of a window and fucks her leg up. I guess Viggo Mortensen is supposed to be the guy who saves her from herself. He's her great white Knight in blue jeans, and he looked damn good when he picked her up and carried her back into the rehab center.

In my honest opinion, that was the best part of the movie. I knew Bullock's character would see the light and stay sober. She's the protagonist and is supposed to be a source of inspiration for folk going through her fictional situation. But the one thing that I didn't see coming was the lack of Viggo in Sandra's sober life.

Why??????

After all the flirting, kissing, ball throwing, and bad Santa Cruz jokes, she doesn't end up with Viggo in the end. The movie ends with that goofy ass smile she always gives, I guess to indicate that things are all good and everything will be okay. But it's not okay without Viggo. In fact, you're even more fucked up without him.

I don't believe in computer violence, but this is one instance in which I wanted to throw my Toshiba out of the window. I quickly realized it wasn't Toshiba's fault so I calmed down. But for real Sandra...don't play with me! Don't promise me Viggo if you're not gonna fully deliver the Viggo! tease.

Pretty sure that it's obvious I'm not a fan of this movie. It's taken me 11 years to watch this movie and to be honest I could have waited a lifetime. However, I will get my Viggo fix soon (as well as my Fassbender's). David Cronenberg has heard my Viggo cries and decided to gratify my needs. 

This looks so good! 

AHHHHHHH!

I really don't like when you find out things about yourself...in front of a lot of people. I just learned last night, at approx. 10:30 pm, that I can't skate to save my life. 

A friend of mine invited me out last night to go skating with her and some co-workers. Since I haven't seen her since my trip to California, I was down. I missed her a lot and I also thought it would give us a chance to catch up on lost time. 

When I showed up to the roller rink, I saw my friend on the practice stage that's usually occupied by little kids. I laughed at her because even when I was learning how to skate I wouldn't have even been caught dead on that thing. It was embarrassing, and I pretended not to know her until she spotted me. 

Once the skates were on my feet and my items were locked away in a locker, I was confident that all the skating I did between 1996-2003 would show. BOY WAS I WRONG.

As soon as I started moving I almost broke my neck. It's kinda strange. You feel like you're going to fall. You feel like you're gliding. You feel like you're flying. I said it was strange!

For someone who once owned the greatest pair of white and pink roller skates, I was straight embarrassed to even go out on the floor; but I did it anyway. That's when I saw that practice makes perfect! My friend was better than me. She could skate backwards (something I could never do), and she never wobbled. However, I webble wobbled my ass around the entire rink for six laps until I had enough. 

I was quick, I was fast, but not good. The other skaters have obviously been skating since birth, since most of them skated so good, it was a shame that my friend and I decided to even show up. 

It was like Roll Bounce (which was filmed up the street from my high school home... so embarrassed!), ATL, and Whip It all rolled into one. I had never seen anything like it before. It would seem as if these people were professional skaters. I'm sure they have regular jobs, but when it came to skating...they knew their shit. 

Needless to say, I will probably never go skating again. I've had enough embarrassment to last me two months.