What The Hell Is This?

I woke up craving a little Viggo Mortensen in my life. I love him as an actor and he's not so bad to look at. So, needing a little Viggo every once in a while isn't a guilty pleasure it's a necessity. 

I went to Netflix in search of a good Viggo movie to get my day going, and one of the movies available for streaming was 28 Days. I'd never seen it, and I like Sandra Bullock. Everything seemed like win-win-win situation...boy was I wrong. 

First of all, it took way too long for Viggo to show up. The first 20 mins of the movie consisted of typical Sandra Bullock quirks and jokes that failed to amuse me at 6:30 in the morning. Then there was this guy in the movie that talked with the bottom row of his teeth...you know what I'm talking about! Don't pretend like you don't know about that ONE person you know that whenever they talk you can see the entire row of their bottom teeth, and the teeth be all yellow or crooked. Well, 28 Days had a guy just like that, and every time he spoke I saw the yellowness of the bottom row of his teeth. At first I thought he was just really into character, because it looked as if this guy hadn't flossed a day in his life. Then I thought about it, and I'm almost positive people are able to bring floss into rehab. Rehabilitation Centers might deprive you of a good time, but they're not going to force you into bad hygiene.

Then finally comes the scene where Sandra Bullock jumps her dumbass out of a window and fucks her leg up. I guess Viggo Mortensen is supposed to be the guy who saves her from herself. He's her great white Knight in blue jeans, and he looked damn good when he picked her up and carried her back into the rehab center.

In my honest opinion, that was the best part of the movie. I knew Bullock's character would see the light and stay sober. She's the protagonist and is supposed to be a source of inspiration for folk going through her fictional situation. But the one thing that I didn't see coming was the lack of Viggo in Sandra's sober life.

Why??????

After all the flirting, kissing, ball throwing, and bad Santa Cruz jokes, she doesn't end up with Viggo in the end. The movie ends with that goofy ass smile she always gives, I guess to indicate that things are all good and everything will be okay. But it's not okay without Viggo. In fact, you're even more fucked up without him.

I don't believe in computer violence, but this is one instance in which I wanted to throw my Toshiba out of the window. I quickly realized it wasn't Toshiba's fault so I calmed down. But for real Sandra...don't play with me! Don't promise me Viggo if you're not gonna fully deliver the Viggo! tease.

Pretty sure that it's obvious I'm not a fan of this movie. It's taken me 11 years to watch this movie and to be honest I could have waited a lifetime. However, I will get my Viggo fix soon (as well as my Fassbender's). David Cronenberg has heard my Viggo cries and decided to gratify my needs. 

This looks so good! 

It's A Blizzard!

So I decided to post. Why not? I haven't done it in a while, so let's get going:

I mentioned before that I went off on someone. Let me just say that I don't normally go off on people. I like to laugh at people who try to upset me, but this one particular person, who decided to test me, had it coming. It's a co-worker of mine, and before you all think that it's some young woman with no home training realize that this person is a grown-ass woman with two children of her own. I believe her to be a menopausal woman of at least 50.

Apparently she believes that I have been mean to her in the past few months. I don't think I have, and here's why: THIS BITCH HAS SNAPPED AT ME FOR THE DUMBEST REASON AND I HAVE YET TO SAY ANYTHING BACK TO HER...until recently.

I don't know what it is about me that attracts the crazy (as I have said before) but these mofos keep coming around like ants to a can of grape pop. I wish they would go away because they are ALWAYS fucking up my chi. 

I don't want to go into detail of what was said and done, but just know that she is now a person I no longer want to speak to or be around. However, I will go over what I don't like about her:

I hang out with people my age, because why the hell would I want to hang out with a 50 year old menopausal chick when it is my personal opinion that this woman should be at home taking care of her two teenage children. I don't like people who run away from responsibility (edit: LOL! look at the pot calling the kettle black) and she is someone who definitely someone who does the latter.

After a long day at work (and directing people to the fucking X-Mas shop for the 100th time) some co-workers and I like to go out for a beer after work...why does this menopausal chick like to tag along with us. I don't mind a group. The more the merrier! However, the more needs to be in fact merrier for me to enjoy myself. Another thing I don't like is a self-centered and self-loathing menopausal chick. When there is nothing to talk about other than your weight gain and lack of dick action...that's when it's time to put down the beer and ask for the check.

I swear this chick asks me every damn day how much I weigh...I don't want to talk about my short stint with veganism with you, and no! I don't care that you slept with a man you believe to be gay. That makes you the fool who won't stop talking about your issues and me the ear...I don't want to be her ear! I would rather hear my grandfather talk about his green toenail than hear this chick's voice.

OH THE VOICE! It's very loud and sounds like it has been deepened by smoking, drinking, and crying. It's unbearable! I'm embarrassed every time she's around me.

AHHHHHHHHH! I can go on and on about how I don't like her, but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter. She is who she is and you can't change an old bitch. However, I can stay the hell away from her until I calm down about the situation, because yes I'm still a little heated and every time I see her I want to give her a paper cut. SO VIOLENT!

No Meat and Counting...

I have officially gotten all of the taintedness out of my system. That's right! For the past month I have not eaten one piece of meat. I feel, different. I also feel hungry. 

I don't know why, but for some reason when people find out that I am a vegetarian (or that I'm trying to be) they seem to ask me what I eat. It's fucking annoying people. Please realize I take any regular meal, minus the meat, and that's what I eat. 

I have, however, lost a lot of weight. I wasn't trying to...it just happened. I have lost a grand total of 20 lbs. and I miss every last pound! I've lost my ass! It wasn't a J.Lo ass, but it was nice and it fit my body just right. I still have a little bump, but it doesn't get half the attention that my old one got.

I guess it's something that I have to just get used to. Plus, with the up coming trip to LA I might actually look like a local so the bums will leave me the hell alone.