WTF???

I learned a long time ago not to listen to celebrities. Majority of the time, whatever flies out of their mouths is either complete bullshit, lies, or just plain stupid. However, I never for the life of me thought that I would read what I just read over at Dlisted. 

Apparently Elle magazine was interested in will.i.am's love life, and wanted to know about what turns him on or off. Personally, I wouldn't give two fucks about what will.i.am likes or dislikes when it comes to women (especially since everything about his personal appearance makes my lady parts want to run for the hills), but since Dlisted posted what he said I decided to take a look:

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?

W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?

W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.”

Okay so let me get this straight. If a woman has a condom anywhere near her, she's tacky? 

I don't understand what is so tacky about making sure trolls like will.i.am have condoms, just in case something happens. I guess he is into the whole "let me get into her mind" game, so when it comes to that, they won't have to have to use a condom because they're so in love...wtf? Now that's tacky. 

With the rising cases of STD and teen pregnancy, I can't believe he said something like that; especially a man who lives in herpes' favorite city. Hell, I applaud any woman who is smart enough to protect herself. It clearly shows maturity and cleanliness. I'm not sure what kind of women this dude likes, but if that's the way he likes them (clueless and unprotected) then he'll learn his lesson. 

I love how he doesn't fully explain why he doesn't like for his lady friends to own condoms, but he goes into great detail about how he likes his women to own baby wipes.

W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes.

If that ain't the most ass backwards shit. 

So owning a box of condoms is tacky, but talking about smearing chocolate on the floor isn't. LOL!

I am seriously convinced you have to be a fucking idiot to be famous. 

story snatched from dlisted

Dumb Bitch Talk From The Frisky

I was over at The Frisky when I came across this story. It's about a young American woman who met a man via Myspace while she was living in London. The man told her she had a pretty smile and three weeks later her thirsty ass was on a train to Manchester to meet him. During that trip, she discovered that he wasn't crazy, but short and skinny. Despite his frail appearance she still wanted to sleep with him and was disappointed when he turned her offer down. Her disappointment turned into admiration when she realized that not every man wants to sleep with a woman after their first date, and that this man wanted to take things slow. 

Although things didn't go her way, they still kept in contact with each other. She didn't think about things until much later, but the entire time she would talk to him, he would never answer the phone when she called. He also wouldn't say much about himself, his life in Manchester was a complete mystery to her. The only thing she knew about his life was that it was very complicated, but she never asked questions out of fear of scaring him off. However, two months later she made plans to move out to Manchester to be closer to him. 

She lived three miles down the road from him, but never stepped foot in his home. After finally sleeping together, he tells her his situation via email... He still lived with his ex and their young child. Instead of leaving his enigmatic ass alone, she sympathized with him, and they continued to see each other.

What she understood about the situation was that he and his ex-girlfriend were seeing other people, but still living together for the sake of the little one...If anyone else understands that explanation then they deserve to be slapped. But whatever...She also thought of him as a stay at home dad, because this fool never mentioned a job. Again! Instead of asking him about it, this goof just assumes and thinks of it as sweet that he spends time with this child. However, throughout the entire story, she never mentions meeting this child. 

Moving on, her time in England was coming to an end. The couple was so much that they didn't want to separate from each other, so he asked her to marry him (I.E: did I mention she only saw this man on Saturdays? well yeah). While trying to get everything ready for her permanent stay in England, she basically spent every dime that she had. Then one day, just two weeks before everything was supposed to take place, he shows up at her door all beat up. Apparently, the ex-girlfriend found out about his new situation and beat his ass. What he said was that the ex-girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to get back with him. That's when it dawns on this goofy bitch to ask him if he and the ex-girlfriend were still sleeping together. His answer was basically yes, even though he told her majority of the time he slept on the couch or she slept at her boyfriend's. And that's when she said she "hit the road"...

Is she for real? It took all of that for her to move on!

I'm sure anyone reading this can determine how I feel about this situation, so I'm not going to go into detail about how my brain felt like exploding and oozing out of my ears. I'll just say this, if you can't ask someone a  simple question like, are you still sleeping with your ex, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about marriage. 

In this age of rampantly diseased man meat, I don't understand why women don't ask that question from jump. The thought of sharing a penis is sick to me, let alone sharing a man with a woman who is sleeping with another man...GROSS!!! And to think, this woman wanted to sleep with this man after only speaking to him online for 3 weeks. If that doesn't scream DESPERATE! And anyone who knows me knows that I hate a desperation. I hate easy. I hate dumb. AND SHE HAS A BOOK COMING OUT? What the hell is she going to talk about? Other dumb ass escapades she had with other random, emotionally unavailable, European men? No! That book will never get a chance to scar my eyeballs. I'll have to pass on this one.

NO!

The power of the man meat can make a woman do stupid things. However, I'm thinking it was attached to someone who looked like a mix of Gerard Butler and Raoul Bova, and a voice like God spiced with Jude Law's accent...That's the only way I could explain why this woman lost her damn mind. 

My Homage to the Side-Eye