What Is Beautiful?

According to Psychology Today Black women are the most unattractive women on the planet. When I first read the article, I just laughed it off. I wasn't going to say anything about it. I just brushed it off as one of those dumb things that people say and that it really wouldn't go anywhere. Then I thought, Psychology Today...My cousin (a recent college grad w/ a degree in psychology) reads that magazine. My cousin, an African-American woman, (and did I mention a class of 2011 Bradley University graduate) reads a magazine that promotes the idea that not only are Black women not attractive, but are also significantly less intelligent than other races. 

After letting what I read simmer for a bit, I took my ugly and apparently dumb ass to Google to check out what the standard idea of beauty really is. Upon my research one of the first pictures that popped up and caught my eye was a picture of an African Tribal woman with a plate in her lip. Is that beauty? To some it is, but of course not to Americans. That sort of thing is too foreign and far too complicated for them to understand. Which made me realize that beauty really isn't in the eye of the beholder. It comes down to what is safe, and comfortable to look at. 

My thoughts were confirmed when I took a second look at my Google research and realize that the picture of the African Tribal woman was surrounded by pictures of blond hair/blue eyed women with welcoming smiles. I'm not going to sit here and say that White women or women of other races aren't attractive, because I am not Satoshi Kanzawa (the asshole who wrote the article), and I honestly don't feel that way. Although, I will say what I see as beautiful or attractive will not fit into someone else's definition of beautiful or attractive, because it's only an opinion and not to be taken as fact. Which is why I cannot believe that this once respectful magazine would publish someone's opinions and try to pass them off as fact. 

However, I will point out that I have noticed that this article is a part of the machine that is geared towards making women like me feel bad about themselves. It's moments like this that make me think about my childhood, and those days when I wished I looked like the girl in the magazine or the chick on TV. I didn't look like them but I wanted to. They were so dainty and perfect that there was no way someone like them would ever get called the names I was called. Now here I am, 23 years old, watching folk like Kim Kardashian and Angelina Jolie being praised for things I was tortured for having. 

I really don't understand why Psychology Today would publish something so blatantly offensive. I'm guessing since people say print is dead, this is their desperate attempt to stay alive. I'm sure their antics will work for those who agree with this mindless bullshit. I'm hoping that young women (of any race) don't read this article and take it too seriously. All women are beautiful and smart no matter what the race, and no one needs an article in Psychology Today to tell them that.

Dumb Bitch Talk From The Frisky

I was over at The Frisky when I came across this story. It's about a young American woman who met a man via Myspace while she was living in London. The man told her she had a pretty smile and three weeks later her thirsty ass was on a train to Manchester to meet him. During that trip, she discovered that he wasn't crazy, but short and skinny. Despite his frail appearance she still wanted to sleep with him and was disappointed when he turned her offer down. Her disappointment turned into admiration when she realized that not every man wants to sleep with a woman after their first date, and that this man wanted to take things slow. 

Although things didn't go her way, they still kept in contact with each other. She didn't think about things until much later, but the entire time she would talk to him, he would never answer the phone when she called. He also wouldn't say much about himself, his life in Manchester was a complete mystery to her. The only thing she knew about his life was that it was very complicated, but she never asked questions out of fear of scaring him off. However, two months later she made plans to move out to Manchester to be closer to him. 

She lived three miles down the road from him, but never stepped foot in his home. After finally sleeping together, he tells her his situation via email... He still lived with his ex and their young child. Instead of leaving his enigmatic ass alone, she sympathized with him, and they continued to see each other.

What she understood about the situation was that he and his ex-girlfriend were seeing other people, but still living together for the sake of the little one...If anyone else understands that explanation then they deserve to be slapped. But whatever...She also thought of him as a stay at home dad, because this fool never mentioned a job. Again! Instead of asking him about it, this goof just assumes and thinks of it as sweet that he spends time with this child. However, throughout the entire story, she never mentions meeting this child. 

Moving on, her time in England was coming to an end. The couple was so much that they didn't want to separate from each other, so he asked her to marry him (I.E: did I mention she only saw this man on Saturdays? well yeah). While trying to get everything ready for her permanent stay in England, she basically spent every dime that she had. Then one day, just two weeks before everything was supposed to take place, he shows up at her door all beat up. Apparently, the ex-girlfriend found out about his new situation and beat his ass. What he said was that the ex-girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to get back with him. That's when it dawns on this goofy bitch to ask him if he and the ex-girlfriend were still sleeping together. His answer was basically yes, even though he told her majority of the time he slept on the couch or she slept at her boyfriend's. And that's when she said she "hit the road"...

Is she for real? It took all of that for her to move on!

I'm sure anyone reading this can determine how I feel about this situation, so I'm not going to go into detail about how my brain felt like exploding and oozing out of my ears. I'll just say this, if you can't ask someone a  simple question like, are you still sleeping with your ex, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about marriage. 

In this age of rampantly diseased man meat, I don't understand why women don't ask that question from jump. The thought of sharing a penis is sick to me, let alone sharing a man with a woman who is sleeping with another man...GROSS!!! And to think, this woman wanted to sleep with this man after only speaking to him online for 3 weeks. If that doesn't scream DESPERATE! And anyone who knows me knows that I hate a desperation. I hate easy. I hate dumb. AND SHE HAS A BOOK COMING OUT? What the hell is she going to talk about? Other dumb ass escapades she had with other random, emotionally unavailable, European men? No! That book will never get a chance to scar my eyeballs. I'll have to pass on this one.

NO!

The power of the man meat can make a woman do stupid things. However, I'm thinking it was attached to someone who looked like a mix of Gerard Butler and Raoul Bova, and a voice like God spiced with Jude Law's accent...That's the only way I could explain why this woman lost her damn mind. 

Yes Abigail, they all pooped

Everyone in the "business" has to start off somewhere and that somewhere is usually some lame ass commercial, tv show, or some dumb made-for-tv movie. A gallery at The Frisky is dedicated to those dumb celebrity starts. The one that stuck out to me is the one with little Abigail Breslin giving away a little bit too much information about herself in a Toys R Us commercial from 1999. She so cute, but if I were her Mom I would have had to ask her to shut it until we got home. Not every one likes to think or hear about poop no matter how cute the person telling the poop story is. But why am I complaining? Clearly people liked her poop story since she ended up in a movie with Gerry Butler. Jealous...Maybe I should start telling people how regular I am since becoming a veg head and then I'll be considered one of People Magazine's Most Beautiful...yeah, maybe. 

Also included in this gallery: Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Alba, Leonardo DiCaprio, Fergie, and The Chin (jump for joy!)

The rest of the shenanigans are here