Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's A Matrix Holiday!

Don't get me wrong I have a life, I just chose not to fuck with it today. I sat in front of my tele and watched The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded, and The Matrix Revolutions all day long. For today was a Matrix Holiday! I probably wouldn't have left my room if food wasn't a necessity. I'm pretty sure I'm obsessed, and I don't care. I love The Matrix so much I would marry it. Seriously, where's the priest cause I'm ready to go?

The Matrix came to me when I was 11 years old. I didn't understand a damn thing, but the action was enough to turn me into a fan for life. Now that I understand the movie, and live by its message, I have a hard time staying friends with people don't. Hell, I don't even acknowledge people who don't like the movie. I'm that serious about it. If you hate The Matrix you need to not exist.

And what's up with those people who still haven't seen the movie? It's been well over ten years since the original movie's theatrical release and these lolly-gaggers still haven't followed the white rabbit. WOW! Get with the program people. I'm sure it will be okay.

Some people have actually told me that they wouldn't watch the movie because of Keanu Reeves. Okay now that's just bullshit. Why? Why wouldn't you want to look at that hot piece for three hours? Give me a Keanu movie, a lifetime supply of haagen dazs strawberry ice cream, flamin hot cheetoes, and some smart water and I'm pretty much set for life. However, if I had to watch one Keanu Reeves movie for the rest of my life, I would have to pick Point Break. When in doubt always bet on Swayze.

I will admit that the sequels aren't as good as the original, but they are watchable. They play off of the original, but some people are so one dimensional, and too damn lazy that they don't want to take the time out to understand the vision of The Wachowski Brothers. It took me a moment and I'm hooked on the sequels just as much as the original. And I don't care what Empire Magazine says, there is no way The Matrix Revolutions is the 44th worst movie ever made. So Pete Travelers of Rolling Stone Magazine, you can suck it. In fact you can suck it harder than Mel Gibson on a sugar tit. 

I can get into the many details as to why The Matrix and its sequels are the business, but I choose not to right now. I plan on writing it for my literature and film final paper, and displaying my A on this blog. If I can convince my overtly cynical professor that she should change her mind about these movies, then I'm pretty sure I can do anything. I could pretty much change the world if that happens. However, I have to make it happen. So just call me the one.