Monday, January 24, 2011

I really hate not knowing...

One thing I pride myself on is being a good person who respects others. I don't like to treat others like shit, because I don't like to be treated like that in return. However, it's not always like that for other people.

I know I might make the mistake of thinking that everyone is like me. I give and give, but receive little in return. Especially in relationships, regardless of their stature. 

I just recently began a friendship with someone I thought was a real person. I'm not sure what he is, but I don't think he's all bad.

I found out about his past, and he's been through a lot. He was recently hurt by someone very close to him, and although that person is no longer in his life (so he says), I feel that their presence still lingers. I'm realizing that since this person has hurt my friend in such a non-forgivable way. I don't mind my friend being hurt, but I do mind anger being taken out on me. 

I know I sometimes play the innocent role, but in this case I'm not sure if there is something I said or did that seriously upset my friend. I don't think so. I replay the moments my friend and I had together, and I can't come up with anything so negative or heinous that it would turn a seemingly nice and respectful man into a cold and heartless human being. 

I hate not knowing what's going on, but I do know this will be the last time I will ever allow this to happen.