Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm Dark and Lovely

I don't know why people put so much emphasis on my dark skin. I don't think I have dark skin, but I know I'm not light. I come from a mixed background so both sides of my family are all different shades of black. I hardly notice it now, but I know I did when I was younger. I have an aunt that's so light skinned I used to think she was white. I used to allow that thinking to believe that she and others like her were somehow better than me because of their fairer complexion. I have since realized that a person's exterior means nothing; it's all about how they are on the inside.

I know that and some of you know that, but there are some people out there that believe they are prettier, better, and even smarter than me because of their skin tone. It's so fucking frustrating, yet funny. I have fun proving those dimwits wrong. I have this one relative that waits for moments to show their intell and 9x out of 10 they're dead ass wrong. It cracks me up. I used to keep my little comments to myself about them, but fuck it I'm grown now.

I know I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but I know I'm not a dog. But do you know how many times I've been called ugly by someone of a fairer tone. Or I'll get comments like: you're pretty to be so dark. OOOOOOO that get's under my skin. Another thing that gets to me are the comments I get on my eye color. I'll admit; I have beautiful eyes. I'm pretty arrogant when it comes to my eyes because I know that I'm the only one with a color like mine. I don't even know how to describe them other than gorgeous. They change color and are hardly the same color two days in a row. I've gotten so used to them that I don't even notice the difference until someone tells me. I'll get compliments on my eyes or questions about the color then there are those assholes who have to ask me if my eye color is real. When I say yes, they always tell me to prove it. WHAT THE HELL? Like I'm going to stick my finger in my eye and risk getting some sort of infection over your dumbass. I don't think so.

It really irks the hell out of me. And It really irritates the hell out of me when I'm with a light skinned friend of mine and they'll tell her so proudly that she's so pretty and has beautiful hair (it's a weave), but when it comes to my eyes these mofos want me to prove to them that a negro like me can have such Anglo looking eyes. Fuck you!

The wackass ideology that African Americans all have dark skin, dark eyes, and kinky dark hair is so stupid. Majority of us, yes, but not all. To believe that is to believe in the stereotype of the typical negro and I'm no typical negro. In fact, I don't know typical negroes. If you do please holla at me.

I refuse to be put into a bubble and told to stay in my place, while being a good little negro and please the good white folk. Fuck that! I'm here to make a difference in the world and if I have to do it by being dark and lovely so be it.