Monday, January 24, 2011

Okay so the Bears lost...

And I could barely get out of bed this morning, but I bet the situation was even worse for a poor sweet guy I got a chance to observe at my favorite bar

Some friends and I went out to watch the "big" game. It was packed from the moment we stepped foot in the bar. Wall to wall people, no seats, and enough beer to quench the entire city of Chicago. 

We found a spot towards the end of the bar near a bald guy named Sean, a couple, and a "weird old dude dressed in red". Standing up behind these people wasn't the best situation, but when we got comfortable and a couple of beers in our system, it wasn't half bad. 

When it became apparent the Bears weren't going to win, I started to check out my surroundings. Sean, the bald guy seated in front of us, started to talk to us about the game, being a Sox fan, and about the couple sitting next to us. 

So the couple sitting next to us were friends with the "weird old dude dressed in red". No one would have known who the boyfriend was since the "weird old dude dressed in red" was kissing and rubbing on the girlfriend in between her rubbing and kissing on her actual boyfriend. I'm not sure if the boyfriend noticed, but how could he not? They were basically making out right in front of him and the whole bar. Maybe he didn't care.

The weirdness started to become even more entertaining when the bar started to clear out and we got the chance to grab a table behind the madness and watched the tomfoolery go down. During the second half of the Steelers-Jets game, the "weird old dude dressed in red" and the girlfriend went out to have a cigarette and left the boyfriend at the bar. I noticed that he hadn't said much of anything for the entire night. He wasn't angry or happy; just drunk as hell. He fell out of his seat so many times that the bar cut him off. 

After falling for the 10th time, he went to the restroom. While he did what he did, Sean saw the girlfriend and the "weird old dude dressed in red" full on ca-noodling outside of the bar. It was embarrassing, yet...funny.

Anyway the boyfriend came back to his seat only to find out that it was now occupied by a woman in a fur coat. He asked her to move the best way he could (HE WAS FUCKED UP!!!), and upset the woman. She ended up slapping the shit out of him just as the girlfriend was making her way back to him, alone.

No one really knows why the woman slapped him, but she did. However, he was the one thrown out of the bar, not her.

So lets sum up everything:
Guy brings his girl to a bar to watch his favorite team play for a chance to play in Super Bowl XLV (what number is that?) with his friend "weird old dude dressed in red", only to have his friend hit on his girl, make out with his girl, steal his girl, have his dreams of watching his favorite team play in Super Bowl XLV crushed, get smacked, and get kicked out of  a bar.

Who had the worst night ever? That guy.