Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I just can't do this today

Okay so some woman is claiming that Jesse James has been slaying her for 11 months. She is also saying that he told her that he was leaving his wife. anyone with half a brain would have known if Jesse James and Sandra Bullock were splitting up. It would have been all over the news and I'm sure the media would have tried to christen her the new Jennifer Chiniston. So I'm pretty sure this woman wants us to believe that she was living under a rock with occasional visits from Jesse James' paynus. I don't know about you, but I'm not buying it. I mean it's Sandra Bullock! Don't you know that Sandra kills people? Oh sure she's America's sweetheart, but the girl is German! Killing silly hoes is in her blood. Don't get it twisted.

I stopped reading the article after I read something about them meeting on FACEBOOK (really!) and  Jesse James being a "Vanilla Gorilla" because of the size of his donkey kong. It made me a little sick and I threw up in my mouth a little. I'll recover but the thought of Sandra Bullock having hot monkey sex is disturbing and will never go away. The mental images just won't stop! Gross...I really hope this isn't true.

*update* I was able to get through the rest of the article and the rumor is the "Vanilla Gorilla" is anti-condoms. I'm officially at a loss of words. I am PRAYING that this isn't true.