Monday, March 8, 2010

My Oscar Reflection...

I hope my Loyal Legion of 1 didn’t' think I was Miss Cleo or anything, because almost all of my Oscar picks were wrong! I had Precious practically winning everything, but a part of me knew that The Hurt Locker would be the big winner.

Kathryn Bigelow, first of all, wow! She looks like a freaking model! How the hell did James Cameron let her go? Okay Linda Hamilton was kick ass and had an amazing body in Terminator 2, but she was no Betty in the looks department. And forgive me Lord, but what was up with that dried up piece of skin from Titanic? I was like damn is that even the same person? I was honestly offended when I saw the youthful and beautiful Bigelow sitting near... Gollum. No seriously Gollum! James Cameron is married to Gollum.Don't believe me? Look at the picture for yourself, and try not to laugh. And don't worry he'll never read this so don't feel bad.
Although I wanted Gabby to win best actress, I was happy that it went to Sandra Bullock. I would have had a fit if Meryl "T-Bone" Streep would have walked off with another Oscar. I seriously got so tired of hearing her name the entire night. With all of the references to T-Bone and George Clooney I had had enough. Be gone with the best and let's bring on the bubbly! And that's why Sandra won.
I got a little misty when Sandra, during her acceptance speech, thanked her late mother. I have a rule, no one cries alone, and I was a boohooer at that very moment. I think the camera man knew this and insisted on showing a shot of Jesse James crying...okay that just about did it for me. I was seriously on the floor in tears. Goodness big men in tears do it to me every time! Every single time!
I have one question though...what the hell was up with that boobalicious dress that Charlize Theron had on? Her style has seriously gone former model turned actress turned charity case. I didn't even think she would be there. When I saw her head I was like cool she's beautiful as always...Then they showed the rest of her...

What the hell is that? I think she new I was having something like a shit day and wanted to cheer me up, because I laughed my ass off. As soon as Jay Manuel went silent on the red carpet special, I knew exactly what he was thinking. The entire world knew what he was thinking. In the words of lazy bloggers everywhere: WTF MOFO! Charlize thanks for thinking of your male demographic, but I'm pretty sure they know where your boobies are.

I honestly thought I had seen it all when Kanye bum rushed the stage and made the country princess in training cry, but this chick last night seriously took the cake. The director of  some film I had never heard of, went on stage to accept his award, and to recieve his moment of importance when this woman on the right, Elinor Burkett, stole his shine. Apparently there is some sort of beef between Burkett and the director Roger Ross Williams. To read more about it visit Dlisted, because it's way too much to get into right now. Just know that the drama isn't only for fiction.

I had way too many favorite Oscar moments, but I must say this: Gabby, because I know you're reading this, you looked lovely last night. I honestly believed you out bubbled Sandra, but that's another story. Not only did you make the red carpet memorable, you made the boring intro to the ceremony memorable.If your personality was porn it would be the money shot! Girl you are hilarious!