Saturday, December 18, 2010


I really don't like when you find out things about front of a lot of people. I just learned last night, at approx. 10:30 pm, that I can't skate to save my life. 

A friend of mine invited me out last night to go skating with her and some co-workers. Since I haven't seen her since my trip to California, I was down. I missed her a lot and I also thought it would give us a chance to catch up on lost time. 

When I showed up to the roller rink, I saw my friend on the practice stage that's usually occupied by little kids. I laughed at her because even when I was learning how to skate I wouldn't have even been caught dead on that thing. It was embarrassing, and I pretended not to know her until she spotted me. 

Once the skates were on my feet and my items were locked away in a locker, I was confident that all the skating I did between 1996-2003 would show. BOY WAS I WRONG.

As soon as I started moving I almost broke my neck. It's kinda strange. You feel like you're going to fall. You feel like you're gliding. You feel like you're flying. I said it was strange!

For someone who once owned the greatest pair of white and pink roller skates, I was straight embarrassed to even go out on the floor; but I did it anyway. That's when I saw that practice makes perfect! My friend was better than me. She could skate backwards (something I could never do), and she never wobbled. However, I webble wobbled my ass around the entire rink for six laps until I had enough. 

I was quick, I was fast, but not good. The other skaters have obviously been skating since birth, since most of them skated so good, it was a shame that my friend and I decided to even show up. 

It was like Roll Bounce (which was filmed up the street from my high school home... so embarrassed!), ATL, and Whip It all rolled into one. I had never seen anything like it before. It would seem as if these people were professional skaters. I'm sure they have regular jobs, but when it came to skating...they knew their shit. 

Needless to say, I will probably never go skating again. I've had enough embarrassment to last me two months.