Monday, February 28, 2011

Jehovah's Little Witness is Stalking Me

I have three days of vacation that I have been looking forward to for some time. All I want to do is eat, drink, sleep, and squeeze in some chores before I have to go back to work on Thursday. However, a decision I made over a month ago is starting to threaten my chances of having a most excellent mini-vacation. 

I wish I could have back the moment I answered the door for a Jehovah's Witness with two children under 5 in cute little snow suits. She totally had them there as bait. It had snowed something terrible the previous night and I thought she needed help. LOL! I was so wrong! 

I was on my way to work so she didn't stay to talk to me about whatever, so she handed over a book, a piece of paper with her phone number on it, and told me TO CALL HER IF I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I READ. 

Needless to say, I didn't read the book, I think I threw it away when I got to work. I also no longer have her phone number...why would I call her? She wants to talk about shit that I have no desire to talk about. While I would rather talk about The Fassbender and his triumphant return to the big screen in Jane Eyre, she  would rather talk about God and other stuff that I could care less about. 

This shouldn't come as a surprise to my loyal legion. I have spoken about my dislike of overzealous religious folk in the past. The ones that push their blind religious views on me and try to call me a heathen just because I would rather believe in things like facts over the Bible. I'm not going to apologize for what I believe. I don't push my views on others, but I find that I'm always being pressured into believing in this tomfoolery. 

In the past few weeks, I lived my life like I normally have, then last week there was a note on my door. It was from the Witness, saying that she hadn't heard from me and wanted to know if I had read the book she gave me.

After reading the note, I thought: wow, that's a little aggressive. I had no intention of reading the book when she gave it to me, but I just had to be the good guy and listen to her unlike my neighbors. I laughed to myself, because this kind of shit always happens to me. Every time I'm nice to a complete stranger, they take advantage of me. It's like this, I've these bitches an inch and they want to run with a fucking mile. It's annoying, but I brushed it off; thinking home girl would get the hint.

Now here it is 2/28/2011, and this chick has shown up at the start of my damn vacation with another note. She's lucky I was asleep and dead to the world when she rang the doorbell, or else she would have gotten it something seriously. The way I have been feeling lately would have allowed me to go full force on her ass. 

Chick...I didn't call you. I'm not going to call you. I don't want to call you. Tell Jehovah that, however I'm pretty sure HE already knows. 

Hopefully by the time she shows up again, I have calmed down. And hopefully, my mini-vacation isn't ruined by this little glitch.