Jehovah's Little Witness is Stalking Me

I have three days of vacation that I have been looking forward to for some time. All I want to do is eat, drink, sleep, and squeeze in some chores before I have to go back to work on Thursday. However, a decision I made over a month ago is starting to threaten my chances of having a most excellent mini-vacation. 

I wish I could have back the moment I answered the door for a Jehovah's Witness with two children under 5 in cute little snow suits. She totally had them there as bait. It had snowed something terrible the previous night and I thought she needed help. LOL! I was so wrong! 

I was on my way to work so she didn't stay to talk to me about whatever, so she handed over a book, a piece of paper with her phone number on it, and told me TO CALL HER IF I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I READ. 

Needless to say, I didn't read the book, I think I threw it away when I got to work. I also no longer have her phone number...why would I call her? She wants to talk about shit that I have no desire to talk about. While I would rather talk about The Fassbender and his triumphant return to the big screen in Jane Eyre, she  would rather talk about God and other stuff that I could care less about. 

This shouldn't come as a surprise to my loyal legion. I have spoken about my dislike of overzealous religious folk in the past. The ones that push their blind religious views on me and try to call me a heathen just because I would rather believe in things like facts over the Bible. I'm not going to apologize for what I believe. I don't push my views on others, but I find that I'm always being pressured into believing in this tomfoolery. 

In the past few weeks, I lived my life like I normally have, then last week there was a note on my door. It was from the Witness, saying that she hadn't heard from me and wanted to know if I had read the book she gave me.

After reading the note, I thought: wow, that's a little aggressive. I had no intention of reading the book when she gave it to me, but I just had to be the good guy and listen to her unlike my neighbors. I laughed to myself, because this kind of shit always happens to me. Every time I'm nice to a complete stranger, they take advantage of me. It's like this, I've these bitches an inch and they want to run with a fucking mile. It's annoying, but I brushed it off; thinking home girl would get the hint.

Now here it is 2/28/2011, and this chick has shown up at the start of my damn vacation with another note. She's lucky I was asleep and dead to the world when she rang the doorbell, or else she would have gotten it something seriously. The way I have been feeling lately would have allowed me to go full force on her ass. 

Chick...I didn't call you. I'm not going to call you. I don't want to call you. Tell Jehovah that, however I'm pretty sure HE already knows. 

Hopefully by the time she shows up again, I have calmed down. And hopefully, my mini-vacation isn't ruined by this little glitch. 

Inception = Nerd Girl Porn!

After the movie was broken down and I understood all of the explaining of space, dreams, and time; I uttered three words that is commonly referred to online as OMG!!!

I love this fucking movie. So fulfilling. So EPIC! I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing and I also couldn't believe that I started to believe that the space, dream, and time travel was possible. Seriously, if I could go to school to become a Chrononaut, I'm fucking doing it. WOW.

Okay so I'm not going to spoil the movie for people who haven't seen it (seriously it's like one person reading this blog and I'm sure that's the person who saw it with me...), but I will say that the movie is not at all what I expected. For some reason I was thinking that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the bad guy, he's not. And I also believed that Leonardo DiCaprio wouldn't be upstaged by anyone, especially Joseph Gordon-Levitt...he was. 

Whoa whoa whoa! The Gordon-Levitt took over like nobody's business. I was thinking more about him and what he was doing, more than I cared about the plot of the movie. Who knew that The Gordon-Levitt would one day have one of the most EPIC fight scenes in the history of cinema. No wonder the Nation has JGL Fever, he's the bad ass in the movie. However, no matter how bad ass The Gordon-Levitt was he was no match for my boy Tom Hardy! 

What?!?!?!?!?! Handsome Bob was so fucking smooth in this film. I'm not sure if smooth is really the word I should be using, but I think I have to take a break from using "EPIC". LOL! No matter what word I use to describe him, just know that I loved him and his awesomeness (?) in the movie. 

Now...Although I loved the film, there were some things that make me think wtf? 

Okay so first and foremost: The Kiss between JGL and that chick that played JUNO (I know her name is Ellen Page!) ...what the hell was that? No chemistry and totally unnecessary. However, maybe some other viewer saw something different and I'm just acting like some jealous hag.

Second, exactly why did they have to that creepy looking guy's dream? I understood all of the dream within a dream stuff, but why go in his dream in the first place. I missed what was so important about that guy that they just to rape this man's dream. I don't know if I can't figure it out tonight, I guess I'll have to go back to the  theater tomorrow for more research.

All in all, this film was EPIC, AWESOME, basically any word to describe good. I did see The Matrix influences before and during the film, and it pleased me to find out that it wasn't a complete rip off of the movie. And yes! I know about Dark City. 

My rating for this movie is 4/5 stars, two thumbs up, and three snaps in a "Z" formation. Basically I loved it!

Keanu, don't tease me!

After sitting through that long ass ceremony, all I wanted to do was sit back and enjoy the Oscar wrap up. Then ALL OF A SUDDEN! I received an e-mail from one of my loyal legionnaires about a possible Bill and Ted Sequel. Could this be true? Is it real? I mean all the years that have passed, and that God awful Bio-Dome...Is this really happening to me?

After listening to the clip, it's hard to know if Keanu Reeves is joking or not, but he says he's serious. So some time in the near distant future Bill and Ted might grace the big screen one more time. I don't know about you but I'm excited. I hope it works out and it won't be disappointing.

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