Showing posts with label tossed salad man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tossed salad man. Show all posts

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I'm A Criminal

I have done so much wrong in my life, that I'm surprised I'm not locked up and asking my mother to send syrup in my care package. 

I'm not going to sit here and type out every little detail of my criminal past, that will be dumb ass hell. What if one of the loyal legion is one of my victims? Oh no! I'm not going to be the new fish at a lady jail for the sake of a good story. Just know I'm something like a rebel. 

One of the great things about being a rebel, is not judging people before you get to know them. That is exactly what I did when it came to Jackie, my partner in crime. She was my first LA (and only) native. She's a fast talking, tatted up little pixie, with a bull-hooped nose ring. She's so punk rock and I'm so not. We look like we don't belong anywhere near each other, but I'm glad I met her. She's cool as hell.

I met her through my roommate at the time, I've mentioned her before, Marie. I might have known Jackie for all of five minutes before she told me the truth about someone I secretly knew was borderline crazy. In the end, we both were right about said person, and hopefully he/she/it will no longer be around when it's time for me to move back to LA.

Jackie is in New York City now. She started a blog about her new life in NY called Jackie In The (Other) Big City. It's really good! I hope when I visit (either Jackie or other NY friends) that I will be able to check out a $5 dumpling. I love a good dumpling and I miss shenanigans. 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Well Sh#t!


There are no words...
snatched from The Frisky

I Saw Tossed Salad Man Last Night!!!

Now when I saw him last night, I wasn't paying him or his buddy any attention. However, the situation looked relatively normal. They were waiting for an elevator at my job when I approached. 

Tossed Salad Man kept looking at me in a strange way, and when I got irritated I looked at him and I'm pretty sure my face turned white. It only took me seconds to recognize him. It was no sense in denying that I was scared as hell. I ran away so fast and unsmoothly (that's not a word). I'm pretty sure he knew that I knew he was Tossed Salad Man. 

The story of Tossed Salad Man is a horrible one. I don't like to retell it, but I'll watch it whenever I feel mischievous. I have to remind myself that if I get into trouble I might go to jail, and if I go to jail, I might have to do something that I really don't want to do. 

I hope I never have to see this man again. 


Even Chris Rock knows about Tossed Salad Man:


Tossed Salad Man has the same effect on me as Fleece "Booty Warrior" Johnson has on me