What The Hell Is This?

I woke up craving a little Viggo Mortensen in my life. I love him as an actor and he's not so bad to look at. So, needing a little Viggo every once in a while isn't a guilty pleasure it's a necessity. 

I went to Netflix in search of a good Viggo movie to get my day going, and one of the movies available for streaming was 28 Days. I'd never seen it, and I like Sandra Bullock. Everything seemed like win-win-win situation...boy was I wrong. 

First of all, it took way too long for Viggo to show up. The first 20 mins of the movie consisted of typical Sandra Bullock quirks and jokes that failed to amuse me at 6:30 in the morning. Then there was this guy in the movie that talked with the bottom row of his teeth...you know what I'm talking about! Don't pretend like you don't know about that ONE person you know that whenever they talk you can see the entire row of their bottom teeth, and the teeth be all yellow or crooked. Well, 28 Days had a guy just like that, and every time he spoke I saw the yellowness of the bottom row of his teeth. At first I thought he was just really into character, because it looked as if this guy hadn't flossed a day in his life. Then I thought about it, and I'm almost positive people are able to bring floss into rehab. Rehabilitation Centers might deprive you of a good time, but they're not going to force you into bad hygiene.

Then finally comes the scene where Sandra Bullock jumps her dumbass out of a window and fucks her leg up. I guess Viggo Mortensen is supposed to be the guy who saves her from herself. He's her great white Knight in blue jeans, and he looked damn good when he picked her up and carried her back into the rehab center.

In my honest opinion, that was the best part of the movie. I knew Bullock's character would see the light and stay sober. She's the protagonist and is supposed to be a source of inspiration for folk going through her fictional situation. But the one thing that I didn't see coming was the lack of Viggo in Sandra's sober life.

Why??????

After all the flirting, kissing, ball throwing, and bad Santa Cruz jokes, she doesn't end up with Viggo in the end. The movie ends with that goofy ass smile she always gives, I guess to indicate that things are all good and everything will be okay. But it's not okay without Viggo. In fact, you're even more fucked up without him.

I don't believe in computer violence, but this is one instance in which I wanted to throw my Toshiba out of the window. I quickly realized it wasn't Toshiba's fault so I calmed down. But for real Sandra...don't play with me! Don't promise me Viggo if you're not gonna fully deliver the Viggo! tease.

Pretty sure that it's obvious I'm not a fan of this movie. It's taken me 11 years to watch this movie and to be honest I could have waited a lifetime. However, I will get my Viggo fix soon (as well as my Fassbender's). David Cronenberg has heard my Viggo cries and decided to gratify my needs. 

This looks so good! 

I’m Back and Beyonce is Pregnant

I’m sorry but I had to leave for a little while. However, I’m back!

I have received your emails and I would like to let you know that nothing has happened. I’ve just been crazy busy!

All this time I’ve been working! Working! Working! Like a crazy person to make things happened and it’s great to finally see everything come together.

I could cry! But I won’t cuz I’m no punk. So instead, I go shopping. And I can’t wait to wear my new boots!!!!!!!!!!

Another part of my happiness is Second City. I finally gathered up the courage to start taking classes at Second City. I’ve always wanted to go, but for some reason I never believed in my ability to write and was content with just working my bullshit job. Then one night I dreamed that I died. Nothing eventful happened in the dream. NO! My ass just died and I hadn’t done anything with my life that I was proud of. The very next day, I started looking at classes. All last minute and shit (typical me), majority of the classes that I wanted to take were filled, but I lucked up and found a class that would accommodate me and my current work schedule.

And of course I can’t go anywhere without finding a man to occupy my thoughts. This one is one of my classmates from my Second City writing class. I like him, but I don’t want to say too much because he might be reading this (he’s officially a part of the loyal legion!!!). However, I will say this, I’m having a lot of fun and it’s nice to be around him. It’s also great not to have to worry about what I’m saying or doing because he is just as silly as I am. It’s nice.

To wrap things up, I want to explain why I named this post I’m back and Beyonce is Pregnant! When I started writing this post, a tribute for Aaliyah was playing on BET. The day that I found out Aaliyah died was the same day I had tickets to go see Destiny’s Child in concert. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to go. It was officially a day of mourning. My idol was gone, but I went anyway. The entire time I was at the concert I thought about how I would have enjoyed watching Aaliyah on stage instead of that hollering Beyonce.

Is it just me or does this girl scream on every fucking song she sings. I swear it seems like if she's not screaming then she's forcing a whoa-whoa-whoaing lyric out. 

With Aaliyah, there was no hollering. She didn't even whoa-whoa-whoa. She simply sang. Then every once in a while she would let out a yeah-eeeee-yeahhhhhhh. Beautiful!

I don't know, but to me it's like Beyonce just does wayyyyyyy too much, yet not enough for me to like her. Don't get me wrong! I will bump a Beyonce song if I think it's hot. However, hot hardly comes and I'm always wondering about if Aaliyah was still alive would she even be relevant? 

Hell no!

photo jacked from Just Jared

I couldn't think of a post title...

That Jane Eyre book was so freaking boring that I picked up another one. I'm kinda upset, because I thought that I would be able to actually sit down and get all intellectual, but forget that mess. That book is all kinds of over my head. Do I believe myself to be dumb? Nope! I believe the book to be full of unnecessary nothings about a schizo child in old school England. I'll just have to wait for the movie and figure things out then.

I'm currently re-reading The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan. I had the opportunity to read it before, but didn't . I'm not sure what happened, but when I was given the chance to read it again; I jumped at it. So far it's really good. I haven't been confused by anything yet. However, my only complaint is why in the hell are the chapters so freaking long? I swear each chapter is about 50 pages of the main character Ruth complaining about her living arrangements. Okay...Let's speed thing up Amy!

Other than reading books, I recently met a guy "Gordon". Well actually, I've kinda known Gordon for a while. He's a friend of a friend and I spent NYE with him. He is very sweet. I'm not sure where this is going, but so far it feels right. Although Gordon is not "Howard", I'm very comfortable and happy at the moment. 

Speaking of Howard, he's still in the picture. I hadn't spoken to or seen him in a while, but then there was yesterday. I had no idea what would happen when I saw him, but I didn't expect what happened to happen.  What happened between us (nothing private just weird and awkward), will stay between us. I'll just say I'm not sure what's going on.

I was a little concerned about what was going on with me talking to two different men at once, but when I put into consideration that I'm not sleeping with anyone, It's not very serious (yet), or that I'm not married; I no longer found anything wrong with the situation. It's innocent.

I'll continue to do what I'm doing until I make up my mind. Hopefully, it will happen before I finish reading my book...I'm only on chapter 2.