Showing posts with label when stupid people try to come off as smart but end up looking dumb as hell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label when stupid people try to come off as smart but end up looking dumb as hell. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

WTF???


I learned a long time ago not to listen to celebrities. Majority of the time, whatever flies out of their mouths is either complete bullshit, lies, or just plain stupid. However, I never for the life of me thought that I would read what I just read over at Dlisted. 

Apparently Elle magazine was interested in will.i.am's love life, and wanted to know about what turns him on or off. Personally, I wouldn't give two fucks about what will.i.am likes or dislikes when it comes to women (especially since everything about his personal appearance makes my lady parts want to run for the hills), but since Dlisted posted what he said I decided to take a look:

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?
W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.
ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?
W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.”
Okay so let me get this straight. If a woman has a condom anywhere near her, she's tacky? 
I don't understand what is so tacky about making sure trolls like will.i.am have condoms, just in case something happens. I guess he is into the whole "let me get into her mind" game, so when it comes to that, they won't have to have to use a condom because they're so in love...wtf? Now that's tacky. 
With the rising cases of STD and teen pregnancy, I can't believe he said something like that; especially a man who lives in herpes' favorite city. Hell, I applaud any woman who is smart enough to protect herself. It clearly shows maturity and cleanliness. I'm not sure what kind of women this dude likes, but if that's the way he likes them (clueless and unprotected) then he'll learn his lesson. 
I love how he doesn't fully explain why he doesn't like for his lady friends to own condoms, but he goes into great detail about how he likes his women to own baby wipes.
W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes.
If that ain't the most ass backwards shit. 
So owning a box of condoms is tacky, but talking about smearing chocolate on the floor isn't. LOL!
I am seriously convinced you have to be a fucking idiot to be famous. 
story snatched from dlisted

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why You Really Mad?

I have this one co-worker who seems to always be pissed off. No matter the day or situation, she always has to give her negative ass two cents on it. It's annoying and has been annoying since she thought it was a good idea to pretending like she was my boss. During my first few days of working with her, she thought it was a good idea to tell me not to ever wear the black jeans I was wearing to work. Instead, I should get some cheap ass pants from K-Mart and wear them everyday until I could afford new and better clothes, because she was so sure that my actual boss would have something negative to say about my clothing and I would get fired...

SN: Who told this chick I didn't have clothes. Hell I don't want to show up to work looking like her old ass, I like looking cute. Hater!

Anyway, at that time I didn't say anything back to her because I was new and I didn't know everyone just yet. I didn't realize at the time that she was borderline crazy and that she had had run ins with various other people at my place of work. Since that time, I made a conscience effort to approach her very slowly and calmly. When you're dealing with crazies, you should never make sudden movements; you never know what might tick them off.

At work, I'm basically a much tamer version of my actual self. I have to bite my tongue (which my co-workers don't do when it comes to me) and pretty much keep to myself. My co-workers know bits and pieces of my life. When I tried to share a little bit about myself, I was ridiculed, so I've learned what to talk about. However, Lindsay (that's what I'll call my crazy co-worker) never bites her tongue when she should. 

Other than telling me how I should dress, she has told me how to do my job, not to wear leggings, to shut up..., and to stop bitching so much. All of the listed occasions I have kept my mouth shut, but this past Saturday I just about had it. 

It was a busy day, and Lindsay was called in early because we had two call-offs. I didn't see it as that big of a deal since Lindsay had been wanting to come in early anyway, but when she showed up to work she was livid. She started complaining about having to come in early, and bullshit excuses people use not to show up to work. 

One of the people who called off was DeeDee. She's really sweet, but she always seems to call off at the wrong times. Lindsay and DeeDee have a dysfunctional relationship. I'm not sure if they like or hate each other, but I'm almost sure Linday kinda hates DeeDee; she's always talking shit about her. It causes awkwardness when I work alone with them, because I'm waiting for Linday's head to spin around and spit green shit on DeeDee's face as soon as DeeDee disagrees with something Lindsay says. 

The green shit almost got spit in my face when I was left alone with Lindsay. She told me how to do my job, and I questioned her about it. Before I knew it, the head went spinning and she exclaimed that I should never talk to her again. What happened next amazed the hell out of me. I had never seen myself act so fucking calm. It was like a scene out of The Godfather. She was the Sonny to my Michael when I calmly drank the remaining water from my water bottle, told her to never talk to me like she had lost her damn mind ever again, and walked out of the office like nothing had happened. 

Let's just say home girl was pissed. That might have happened at 2:15 pm and at 6:30 pm when I left for home, she was still fuming. What the hell?

I know whatever I questioned her about couldn't have been that bad, so I know it wasn't all about me. However, I also know what DeeDee did couldn't have been that bad, I was also affected by DeeDee's decision, and I wasn't annoyed with it at all (I'm sure the loyal legion knows how easily I'm annoyed). So why was she really mad? 

I believe she finally realized that unlike her I don't shop at K-Mart, and that I still wear jeans although she told me not to. In fact, I was wearing jeans on that day...she just couldn't handle it. 

The next time I wear jeans (which will be Thursday), I'll remember to proceed with caution. She'll probably flip out again, but I'll know how to handle it. 

Crazy ass...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

What?

Okay, so I love art. Not so much paintings, but music, movies, writing, pictures...and, okay I guess I love some paintings since they are also a form of self-expression.
Just yesterday, I got into a mini-debate with someone over the song Strange Fruit by Billie Hoiliday. I said that the song was depressing because of the content of the song, then I was asked why would the song depress me since it was just art.  My reasons for finding the song depressing were:
  1. because of the content 
  2. its inspiration (The 1930 beating and lynching of Thomas Shipp and Abram Smith in Marion, IN)
  3. how the song was sang
As it always goes, I was told that I was wrong because as art, it isn't supposed to be depressing. What? Dude are you serious? It could just be me, but I thought (all this time, silly me!) that art was a self-expression that is supposed to get some sort of emotion out of its audience. I can be 100% wrong, but if art isn't supposed to stir up emotion then there really isn't a point in it at all.

Since I knew I wasn't going to win the argument with the clearly delusional, I just stopped talking about it and watched said person huff and puff at my disagreement. 

Seriously. For real? Okay, so the next time I'm watching a movie that makes me cry, or listening to a song that makes me smile I have to remember that I'm crazy. It's art. It just is. No emotion is supposed to be wrapped up in the consumption of it all. 

Get the fuck out of here dude.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Why Can't I Vent?

People are really selfish. I believe the more sensitive the person the more selfish the motherfucker. I don't like too many people, so outside of my family; I don't talk to many people. I have a handful of people who actually know what my voice sounds like, I consider them lucky.
However, that's beside the point...My point is this: Why don't people allow others to vent? And when I talk about others, I'm pretty much talking about myself. WHY CAN'T I VENT?
I swear it seems like every time I want to vent and let off a little steam, someone (and you know who you are) is always there telling me what it is that I shouldn't say, or what I shouldn't do. UGH! Shut up and just listen to me!
I'm talking to you! I don't actually want to do what I'm saying or else I wouldn't be talking about it; I would actually be doing it. 
And let me not yell while I'm venting (oh no no no no no!) because I'll hurts the listeners feelings and they'll ask me why I am yelling at them?
Do you not understand, as the listener, what is required of your role?
Do you not understand the frustration people have doesn't have anything to do with you? 
Why can't you, as the listener, just shut the fuck up? And do your job. Listen.
Stop being so vein! Everything isn't always about you! Cocky motherfucker!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Guess Who I Saw Today!!! Well Yesterday...

UGH!!! I hate her! Old goofy c*nt (I really hate that word, but that's what she is!) with a stupid old haircut. She, being the teacher I had to give the business to, was at my place of business today. I wanted to snatch that wig looking hair off of her head and toss it to little kids playing on the escalators. I really wanted to do some damage, but my boss was standing right next to me, and she's so sweet I believe the act would actually offend her. 

I saw her coming up to me so I tried to pay her no mind. I know my temper so let's just say I was doing the right thing. However, home girl kept eying me down like she wanted to do something. Maybe me telling the head of her department about her behavior in class and her lack of teaching got her in more trouble than I hoped for, because she was looking at me like she wanted to take it outside. I'm no punk so after about twenty seconds of staring, I began to look back with my best "Bitch I'm From South Side" look that always manages to scare. 

As luck would most likely have it, nothing happened. She didn't say anything to me...only whispered to a friend, pointed at me (which would have pissed me off in 2004 but I'm a lady now), and walked away. What a lovely "Christian" adult woman she must be.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Todd This is For You!

I learned a long time ago that you honestly cannot win an argument with a religious person, but no matter how much I believe in that I'm still surprised at how clueless the aggressively religious seem to be.

Today in a class discussion on Gay Marriage, being an advocate I had to speak up. I mentioned how I honestly don't believe the government has the right to tell me who I can and cannot married based on my sexual orientation. When trying to express my opinion in class, I kept getting cut off by my professor who is very religious. I noticed her stance on religion at the start of class (January 2010), and I have made it a point to not mention religion since I tend to have different (negative) views when it comes to religion.

Well today, I mentioned the separation between Church and State, and mentioned how majority of the laws in America and the overall moral ideology is based off of religious views and it's not right since not everyone in America practices Christianity. Well that's what I tried to say, but the woman wouldn't let me get it out. She kept cutting me off to the point that I just shut up and let her talk. I wanted her to talk till she was blue in the face. Then she said something that made her stop sounding like one of the teachers in the Peanuts cartoon. She uttered, "I believe that marriage should not be for same sex couples because it should be between a man and a woman, which is the traditional way." I kept a close ear because I knew it was coming. I laughed at the anticipation of it, and straightened my clothes for its idiotic return. She said, “It’s my own personal opinion, but it is written in the Bible and God wrote the Bible. Those are his words, so it's true." At the moment those words left her mouth the entire class erupted. I was glad to see that I wasn't alone in thinking that this woman was an idiot and I laughed a laugh that I could only laugh at that moment.

The entire moaned and grunted in aggravation. She then proceeded to tell us that none of us knew what we were talking about because none of us were Bible experts. She said, “The Bible is the same Bible that has been around for years and nothing has changed except for the different interpretations of the words. Those words are the same words that have been around since the beginning of time and haven’t changed.”

Another eruption.

There were two guys to the left of me (one alone at a table and the other alone by a window), a woman on the left of me sitting at my desk/table, and a woman sitting in front of me. We all raised our hands at the same time, but the guy by the window said, “do you really believe that?” The guy behind me said nothing and looked confused, and the woman in front of me shook her head and laughed. The woman sitting next to me at the desk/table raised her hands and said, “Okay!” and put her head down on the desk/table.

I kept my hand raised, laughed, and heard the woman in front of me whisper, “Historians have proven that as false.”

Then I said, “Yes that’s exactly what I was going to say. History-” I was cut off.

“None of you are professional theologists so you can’t possible tell me that I’m wrong.” And that is when I said, “And neither are you!”

And that is when she got really angry, pointed her finger at me, and said, “Little girl! Let me finish!”

I have never been one to respond well to shouting so I said, “How can you tell me to let you finish when you have cut me off since I started talking?” My question had no response. She said something, but it wasn’t the answer I was seeking so she went ignored. I continued to laugh at her, because she was right and I wasn’t a theologist.

I have noticed when people with some kind of mediocre authority realize that they are dead wrong, they tend to get what little power they have and try to belittle the people they control. She had lost control and the only thing left to do was teach the class. Well, since she couldn’t do that anymore, she told us to be quiet (because we’re 12, LOL!) and read chapter 9 of our books. I didn’t do either, but that was fine since it’s not like we are going to have a test on chapter 9 anyway. The dumb bitch doesn’t even review the chapters, and we don’t have class discussions about them. Majority of our class time is watching youtube videos.

We had about 20 mins left in class, and I wrote this blog post down in my notebook with a shaky hand. I haven’t revealed this before, but when I’m in an intense situation and I’m, trying to keep my composure, I shake. I shake so much that sometimes I start to cry. Today I wasn’t on the verge of tears, because I refused to let that woman see me crack under the pressure my body was putting me under. My brain was yelling at me to go off on that bitch! But my heart told me not to, and when in doubt follow your gut. LOL! Because at that moment it was empty and told me to shut up because going off on her would only make me pass out.

Class ended, and I walked to the head of the dept. to discuss his employee, but he was on the phone. I walked around with two classmates and we discussed the event that had just taken place, when it (the professor...) walked around the corner giving us the stink eye. I wanted to yell something so bad, but my gut said shhhhhhhh! But whatever, I wasn’t going to yell out a profanity or an insult. So I said, as loud as I possibly could, “Man wrote the Bible!” right before I turned the corner.

I know what I did was immature, but it needed to be said. Maybe she didn’t know the creation of the Bible was at the hands of man and not in a spirit that lives in a cloud. Or above them? Hell! I was trying to help her out...But I don’t know I’m not a theologist. I’m a little girl. A little girl that went to Catholic School, grew up in a religious household, and went to church every Sunday. I couldn’t possibly know the Bible. Of course not, I’m just a little girl.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ho sit down!


I'm pretty sure this is a prank, because I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would think it would be a good idea to purposefully make themselves look like a slutty mcnasty dumb bitch.

I also can't understand why I watched this video from start to finish. That right there is the reason why sometimes I deserve a slap in the face.

Well since I watched this sh*t I might as well tell you about it.

So the ugly big toofted skank from 3LW believes she is a real singer and decided to record a lame ass song and shoot a low budget video about getting drunk, blacking out, and having sex with some random butterfaced dude she met at a club. In the song she said the sex was spectacularrrrrrrr, but I doubt it. How can anything sexual with a pimply assed Rasta wannabe be spectacular? And since when did blacking out and waking up in a strangers bed count as a good time? I'm not a prude or anything, but blacking out and not knowing where the hell I am in the morning will scare the sh*t out of me. But Ms. Williams is not me (THANK GOD!).

Kiely Williams is doing way too much for me, and needs to sit down now.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I totally spaced in class today

In my film and lit class we are currently watching and discussing Kill Bill Vol.1, one of my favorite movies. At the moment I got a little full of myself, I decided to answer a question about Tarantino's pop culture references in the film. I honestly don't know what happened, but I know I heard my professor say KILL BILL VOL. 1; why the hell was I thinking about Jackie Brown. Given Jackie Brown is a freakin classic and should be discussed at all hours of the day, but for why did I choose now to talk about the film?

Instead of talking about all of the obvious pop culture references in Kill Bill Vol. 1, I start talking about Charles Broson and Samuel Jackson's famous speech in Jackie Brown. I couldn't stop it. It came out like word vomit! I knew what I was talking about was dumb by the way my prof. was looking at me like what the hell are you talking about. 

I'm so ashamed of my stupid arrogance. I'm so glad next week is Spring Break; maybe the class will forget my flub up. Hopefully!

The scene I talked about:

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Shakespeare was not an author!

He was a playwright! Just thought I needed to get that misconception cleared up...





"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
William "Bill" Shakespeare